Intimate Thoughts

*The following is an excerpt of my journal entry today.

In so many ways today is the same as any other day but in just as many ways today is special, today is emotion, today is love. I think of Kara for a good portion of every day, that part of today wasn't different. Today I felt a deep burning to honor Kara's legacy, that part of today wasn't different either; I ponder, prepare, and anticipate Biking for Boobies every day. Today is special because it's Kara's Day. Today I remember and give thanks for her in my life. Today on an intimate level i feel; I feel the sting of missing her, I feel the pain of loss. Today I also feel love; love for Kara and the love I learned from her, deep, unwavering, strong, lasting. Today, as well as remembering, loving, and giving thanks for her, I've remembered, loved and given thanks for many of my loved ones. In life Kara taught me many things; loving appreciating, and sharing with your loved ones being perhaps the most valuable.

Today there were moments that I missed Kara painfully. In frustration I was angry that she suffered, experienced pain, and ultimately that she's gone. I don't know why Kara died and we get to live. I don't understand death. That that's not the point; the point is that I had a fantastic friend and that will always be with me.