everything's greener and you're still hard to please

i feel lazy. something needs to be done in this life of mine. meanwhile, i just sit here and watch the time pass. i'm not sure what to do. there's a chance i may be at a crossroad. like the kind of crossroad where fifteen different paths converge and you have no clue which of the fifteen paths is the one that you should choose. yeah, that kind. i like knowing there are so many options. the possibility of so much adventure. and i get to choose. i like that part too. but then there's that other part. the part where i have to take action. do something. get off of my ass. leave what's easy and comfortable for something new. you know, take one of the fifteen paths that lays before me yet i have never seen before.

there's a chance i may be getting closer to figuring out what i want to do with the rest of my life. well, attempting to figure it out anyway. there are never any guarantees. i know i don't want to work in an office. i don't like coorporate america. i hate talking on the phone. i'm turning a bit bitter toward the service industry. basically i'm falling into dislike with most of the things i do on a daily basis. i must state the obvious fact that this is not good. thank you for allowing me that. what is good is that there is a world of endless possibilites out there for me to explore.

and in the meantime i'll get some practice doing things i'm not so good at doing. like being patient. leaving my options open. doing new things, scary things. taking the first step when what follows might be unknown or out of my control. god, i'm such a virgo. at least every adventure will be perfectly planned and well organized. stay tuned...

in your dreams you find out...

here is sit. on an airplane. for the last two hours trying to write about my life's most epic weekend. it doesn't matter what i write. or how i write it. you won't get it. unless you were there. so suffice it to say that i loved spending time with my people. my little heart needed that. i drank a lot of alcohol. my liver needed that. i spent time on the boat and in the sun. my tan needed that.

there was loud laughter at the next dinner table in a sushi restaurant. loud music a the house next door. there were birthday countdowns. hand stand contests. corn hole. a prostetic leg mishap. chair dancing. cheese balls. tiaras. a sash. sleeping in. loud laughter at our own table. there were birthday girls in trouble. three virgos saving the world. bloody marys for breakfast. there was carl, god love that guy! there were lasers and kentucky state police. there may have been a hangover or two. there was most definitely a birthday dinner of perfection.

most of all there was love, laughter and time together. with people who love me. and i love them back. 27's gonna be a great year.

please speak well of me

i found out yesterday that my grandmother passed away. i felt weird. when my grandma brookhiser passed away two years ago i was sad. i cried. i rushed to iowa. i missed her. yesterday when i got the call i felt sad. but mostly i felt weird. like i should be sadder. like i should "do" something. i didn't know what to do.

i liked going to grandma smith's on christmas eve when i was little. my favorite part was the singing, walking rudolph the red nosed reindeer with the light up nose. i liked spending the day at her house when i had the chicken pox. i liked visiting her and reading her endless stacks of the national enquirer and star. this was before i knew they were fiction. i liked hearing really funny stories about her boys when they were young. grandma smith knew how to tell a story. i liked receiving a full size candy bar when i trick-or-treated at her house.

Grandma Smith,
Thank you for being my grandmother. For teaching me the valuable lesson of humor. And thank you for the sense of humor that I like to think I inherited from you. Thanks for all the Christmas Eve dinners, for telling all the funny stories, and for taking care of me when I had the chicken pox.
Sincerely,
Brooke