*Disclaimer-If today you came here in search of happiness and Susie Sunshine...you are in the wrong place. Today you will find raw, uncensored thoughts and feelings here. Go ahead, judge me.
Most of the time I've got it together. Most of the time the adventure ahead makes the every day monotony seem worth it. Most of the time my plan for the future fills my every pore with excitement. Most of the time I feel confident about my career success at Salomon. Most of the time I'm just generally stoked to be alive and to be me.
Today is an unusual day. A day when I don't feel like I've got it together. Like maybe I'm fragile. Today I ponder why I'm still working this hum drum desk job. Why daily I'm micro managed by a "team lead" who belittles and insults me. Oh yeah, I'm still here because it's my ticket out of orthodox society in three years. Even still, today I don't know if I can do this every day for three more years. I wasn't born to do this. I was born to see the world. I wasn't born to give up, it's not my nature. I was born to succeed. To succeed according to my goals and standards not according to some predetermined, cookie-cutter standard that the rest of society lives for. I need adventure, I need nature.
I should suck it up. Stop complaining. Just keep going. I will. I have to. There really is no other option. But this time I'm going to stop and feel. I'm going to be human. For a moment I am letting go of the need to be super-human. The need to always be happy, positive, zealous.
Society, your crazy breed. I hope you're not lonely without me. -Eddie Vedder
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
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