Not your year...again

I said it six months ago. I still feel the same way. So it's probably safe to say again. It's not my year. When I said that to a cop this morning he let me go without a ticket. So it's been a positive in that regard. But I'd really rather be happy and enjoying life and still have that ticket to pay then to be able to dodge a citation out of pity. Really. How lame.

Yesterday pretty much sucked. That's really the only way to describe it. Well, until 6pm then the night was awesome. But I'll get to that. All in due time. And just to warn you before you waste your time reading this: I'm still complaining about the same things I've been complaining about for a while now. You won't discover much to be new in this post but I'm doing it here so I can refrain from bitching about life outloud and in real life. So yesterday sucked. Most days at work do. I'd like to hope for the best but the frustration becomes more than I can take at times. I've tried. That's really more my style. I've always been a pretty proactive person. Hell, how do you think I got to where I am? I'm starting to wonder if it's hopeless here, in this job. I don't want to leave the company. It's great. The people are great. But where I fall on the corporate ladder is at the bottom. Being on the bottom isn't great. Because when shit falls...it lands on the bottom. Get it? So now I'm to that point in a grown-ups life where I have to figure out how to fix the things in my life that aren't working. Do I get a new job? I don't want to. I'd really rather stick it out and wait for another opportunity to arise within the company. I love this company and really have a lot to offer. I will be a big success here. But how long is worth waiting for that elusive opportunity? And at what cost will I hold out and wait hoping that something I'm qualified for comes around? I used to think it was worth it. Now I wonder.

Yesterday I discovered an opportunity that is worth pursuing. Keen is hiring a customer service rep. That's me. The job is almost a carbon copy of what I do here. And Keen is in Portland. One of the cities on my list of places to live before I die. Seems perfect. I've heard a lot of positive things about the work atmostphere there. Sounds a lot like Backcountry.com. Boy do I ever miss it there. My single reservation about moving to Portland? My BFF and rent-a-parents are in Utah. Yikes! My BFF and I will be like the sky with no moon if I move away. My rent-a-parents...well, for the six months out of the year that they don't live here I miss them like crazy. Am I prepared to live for 12 months out of the year without them?

I officially hate being an adult. I hate being responsible for myself, my happiness and my well being. Why can't I just sit back and be miserable and help those around me feel the same misery? That's not my style. I feel like I need to take action. But the action I've found seems to be BIG action. Hard. Life is hard.

In other news: I had dinner with Mrs. Mullin's mom last night. Jane. She was great. We laughed ourselves silly. She is a genuinely good human being. I picked Jane and her sister Linnie up at their hotel in North Salt Lake. We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. Yum. The 3 of us shared a slab of ribs. And we all had a real tall beer. We took pictures, laughed, told stories, and laughed some more. I had a great time with them and I am pleased as punch that Kathy orchestrated the whole thing.

Braymee Allen will be reunited Friday eve. I can't wait for that. It's been waaaaaay too long. We're going to a Peter Breinholt concert. That will be more fun than I can convey on these pages.

I must leave you for now. If you left this depresessed...I'm sorry. Don't take an oxycodone to numb the pain, it doesn't work. Have a nice life and I hope your year is going better than mine.