a vagabond for beauty

my latest attempt to quench the wanderlust that is my soul has been the reading of Everett Ruess: A Vagabond for Beauty. i'm nearly 2/3 of the way through the book. it gives me that familiar, constant need to travel. to see the beauty of the world. to leave the confines of the city and all that my life here entails. to find a deeper meaning to life than the menial hum drum that most of us settle for.

in a letter to his father dated december 18th, 1933 everett writes, "the other day, i was talking with alfred fiske, and he believed, and won me over to the idea that we are not asking enough of life. when people find that we do not expect fine, splendid things of them, or that we do not appreciate them and scoff at them, naturally they cease to aspire. if more people felt that fineness was hoped for from them and would not be scorned, they would respond and the world would be more beautiful. as it is, many people are ashamed of deep feelings when they have them, and always try to hide them. don't you think this is true?

as to briffault's statement that no first rate mind in this day of crisis can possibly be interested in beauty or in art when the world is going through death throes and birth throes, i naturally say that he is wrong, because if i agreed with him, i would contradict my whole life.

his thought is not new to me. a year ago my communist friends were firing it at me when i told them that beauty and friendship were all i asked of life. i am not unconcerned with the crisis of our civilization, but the way of the agitator, the social leader, and the politician is not my way. it is not in my nature to deal with masses of people and be an organizer, and i don't propose to make any fundamental changes in my nature. i couldn't change that anyway.

meantime, suppose a year past, i had heeded my friends, and thrown myself into the struggle. what would i have now to show for it? most probably, if i had gone into the thing with any intensity, i'd soon have been just one more of the hundreds of political prisoners who are so utterly without any real influence on the stream of things. if, on the contrary, i had been cautious in my enthusiasm, what could i have accomplished in that way? and, as i said before, i consider it a hopeless, thankless task to struggle with the blind apathy of the masses. neither can we persuade the leaders, the capitalists, to cut their own throats, so there you are. am i right?

so, instead, during this last year, i have continued to seek beauty and friendship, and i think that i have really brought some beauty and delight into the lives of others, and that at least is something."

everett, i truly could not agree more. thank you for writing the words of my heart. there is something comforting and serene about knowing i feel the same way about society and culture as a 19 year old by in 1933 did. maybe the adage "some things never change" really is true. in this case, i hope so. i can only hope to see the world similar to the way everett saw it. one day, it will be my turn.